Ego is at the root of many issues that plague the martial arts world. Bad attitudes, unethical behaviour, ‘sensei worship’ and the ever-present and so-hard-to-avoid constant trash talking that goes on between different competitors, styles, instructors and schools.
Martial Journal writer Daniel Hartz recently wrote on ego in the martial arts. It is a great piece about a topic of much discussion in martial arts, and you can read it here.
But are there times when having an ego is beneficial? If so, what are those times and why is it beneficial? Can you avoid having an ego, and how do you do this?
Two Sides of the Same Coin?
The two are closely related, and one can turn into the other, yet they are not the same. And people in relation to themselves, as well as in relation to others, often confuse the two.
To have confidence is to have faith in your ability.
To have an ego is to have a sense of self-importance.
Here are some examples:
- In combat sports, ego can be expressed by going into a fight under-prepared because of your past record, or your belief that you are unbeatable. Confidence means going into a fight after working your butt off, being aware of your opponent’s strengths but confident in your own abilities and training, as well as in your trainers and team.
- In traditional martial arts, ego can be expressed as self-importance based on one’s lineage or rank. Confidence means understanding and accepting one’s place in the system, as well as that of the system itself.
- In self-defence, ego can be expressed as over-confidence in one’s abilities to handle any situation, which results in making poor safety choices. Confidence means understanding and respecting the very real dangers of conflict and making choices in life accordingly.
- Other behaviours, regardless of style, include believing you should receive special treatment because of your achievements, rank or ability. This can range anywhere from demanding more money for a fight, through insisting on having and being referred to using a particular title (often something ludicrous like Supreme Great Grand Master) to demanding to be the first one in the queue for the water cooler during a break. It is reflected in nearly every facet of our behaviour, especially in how we interact with others.
Whether practitioners develop confidence or ego depends on many factors. Some have to do with the individual and some do not. Some are well outside of the dojo environment and cannot be helped. For example, how a child behaves and is treated at home seven days a week is likely to have a more significant impact than the two weekly hours he or she spends at the dojo. I have written extensively on the effects of the ‘age of entitlement’, so to speak, and it’s effects on martial arts and you can read about this here and here.
But within the context of things that can be developed within the dojo environment, I feel that the strongest indication is the culture of the dojo and of the instructors or coaches who guide them through the journey.
The teacher’s behaviour will often be the strongest indicator of how future martial artists will turn out in terms of developing a healthy confidence and a well-adjusted sense of self-worth.
To be able to stand in front of a room full of people and deliver a class takes confidence. Being able to prove that what you teach works (whatever that means in your context) takes confidence. It means, as the definition above states, to have faith in your ability. It does not require feeling important or entitled because of your ability. Those lines can get blurred.
Can you differentiate between the two?
Ask and you shall receive!
Becoming a martial arts instructor is a huge responsibility. In a very real sense, the skills you teach might one day determine whether someone lives or dies. It is also a position that commands respect. People come to train with you. They are paying to learn from you – and sometimes not a small amount of money. Unfortunately, this can result in behaviours that stand opposed to the values one is supposed to be upholding as a teacher.
A confident teacher will:
– encourage students to ask questions
– will be open about not having all of the answers all of the time
– will have done the hard work to get to where they are, but will not necessarily talk about it unless prompted
– will continue to better themselves and grow in their art by focusing on training and skill acquisition and sharpening
– will not feel threatened by challenges to their status
– will lift students up
– Focus is external, student development comes first
– will earn respect
This comes from a deep-seated confidence in where they are and how they got there, as well as the understanding that they still have a lot to learn – just like everyone else. Their focus will be on building others. They know what they can and can’t do. They have faith in their ability. Their ability is not the sole determinant of their self-worth and is not adversely related to it.
An egotistical teacher:
– will discourage questions that may result in them looking bad
– will rebuke students for proving them wrong or questioning their teaching and will see those as personal attacks
– will initiate discussion about their qualifications or prompt people to ask about it
– may not regularly focus on their own training
– will feel threatened by any challenge to their station, whether real or perceived.
– Will put students down
– Focus is internal, sense of self-worth is most important
– will demand respect
This comes from too much or not enough real confidence. Their focus will be on satiating their own ego and avoiding cognitive dissonance. They often believe that their ability or their rank entitles them to more than others. Their self-worth (or lack thereof) is tied to their ability (or lack thereof).
A little of column A, a little of column B
Where does this take us?
Full circle. Having confidence means having faith in your ability. Having an ego is thinking that your ability entitles you to something above what might be considered normal.
Does this mean they are mutually exclusive? Absolutely not!
- You can have ability and an over- or-under inflated sense of self worth
- You can have an over- or –under inflated send of self-worth and not have ability
- You can have ability as well as an over- or under- inflated sense of self-worth
- You can have neither
Egophysics
The first law of thermodynamics states that energy can neither be created nor destroyed; it can only be transformed.
I believe the same thing applies to the balance between ego and confidence. It’s about maintaining balance in the ever-evolving, dynamic (and messed up) environment that is our mind.
As we grow and change (or not), the way we view ourselves also changes. Perhaps something happens that results in us losing faith in our ability, and making up for it with ego, or vice versa.
Maintaining that balance requires awareness the ability to assess oneself, as well coping with change.
Simple? Yes. Easy? Heck no.
So better start now!
Stay safe, stay tuned,
Osu/Oss
- The Karate Kid (1984): Movie Review - March 31, 2019
- Fairy Tales: Even MORE Statements To Be Careful Of! - February 21, 2019
- Don’t be That Person! Thoughts on Giving Feedback in Class - January 30, 2019
Mr Amram, great article as I was reading it took me back a few years in my training where my ego started to get out of hand, not was an instructor but as a student dealing with a fellow student who moved into the instructor roll of the class I attended on a regular basis. After a long layoff from training I returned to that class and this gentleman is the teacher and I have a new perspective on him and his ability. I left my ego in the past and am really enjoying his classes.
Thank you for a great article.
Thank you kindly, Mr Borders. That’s a great story. It’s always a struggle to find that balance. Keep up the good work!