I’m not here to talk about myself, but a short bio will give what I’m about to say some context. After 37 years of training, 13 years of journalism, and 21 years as a dad, I started a podcast. Safest Family on the Block is where I take that experience and use it to interview subject matter experts about every imaginable aspect of keeping our kids safe.
In those 70 episodes plus independent research, I’ve learned a lot of tips, tricks, habits, and hints that changed my relationship with martial arts and self-defense. I wanted to share a few of the most important.
1. Watch For Change
Very few things mean trouble all by themselves. A noisy bar doesn’t mean it’s a dangerous bar. A quiet bar doesn’t mean it’s a dangerous bar. But a noisy bar that suddenly goes quiet is a sign to pay attention. This is true in every safety situation, from parenting, to guard duty, to street self defense. Watch for the unusual, the changes, and you’ll usually be looking in the right direction.
2. Remember The Real Job
Our job in self-defense is to get home safe, and to help the people we’re responsible for do the same. It’s not to punish the bad guys. It’s not to show off our sick karate moves. It’s not to inflict our will and assuage our egos. It’s good to apply this to crime prevention, but also to other aspects of our longevity.
3. Suicide Happens Younger Than We Think
This fact simply sucks, but it’s important to know. When we think about suicide in children, we picture teenagers…but recently experts have discovered it’s a risk even in middle-elementary grades. Kids that age have the physical ability to die by suicide, and lack a sense of permanency and consequences. There’s not much to do about this except to be there for our children.
4. Never Skimp on Your Hotel
Good hotels are in good neighborhoods, and are invested in good security and maintaining a good reputation. Cheap hotels are in bad neighborhoods and tend to have either poor security or staff invested in petty crime. Cheap hotels also spend less on things like keeping fire doors unobstructed and safety-related maintenance. It’s almost always worth spending the extra dollars.
5. We Need to Broaden Our Training
The kicking, punching, stabbing, and shooting is fun. It tickles an atavistic part of who we are (and who we wish we were). I’ve been doing all four for 40 years, and won’t say a word against it. But we should also dive into defensive driving, advanced medical training, awareness drills, communication, psychology, and all the other ancillary skills that will come up more often when we’re protecting ourselves and the people we love.
6. Cardio is Self Defense
None of the top ten killers of adults in developed nations have anything to do with violence. Seven of them have to do with body weight, cardiovascular health, and general wellness. Getting regular cardio helps with all of those. And…just sayin’…for most of us, getting that road work in regularly practices discipline far more deeply than showing up for sparring on Friday night.
7. Spend More on Prep, Less on Defense
Most of us spend a couple hundred dollars most months on self-defense training and equipment, plus one or two splurges each year for a training camp or seminar. We should be spending at least that much on preparatory needs like stocking our first aid kits, laying in some emergency supplies, and maintaining our vehicles. It’s not as sexy as a three-day combat shooting experience, but it’s you’re more likely to need it.
8. Master Our Phones
Modern smart phones are incredible tools for safety, communication, and enhancing our training. They’re great servants, but dangerous masters. We need to apply our warrior discipline to only using them intentionally, when we need them, not as a distraction or a default. One of my guests coined the tag line “Get your head out of your apps!” and I couldn’t agree more.
9. Education is the Antidote to Fear
As a parent and martial artist, this is the most important realization that came out of my podcast. The more you learn about a potential danger, the less you fear it. We understand this from our martial arts training, responding to potential violence with a plan of action instead of panic or denial. The same is true for everything else you’re afraid of, and for what your kids are afraid of, too.
10. Play More Board Games
Board games are a way to spend time as a family and bond, but their use goes beyond that for our needs. They also teach tactical thinking, problem-solving, resilience after setbacks, communication, sportsmanship, and (in some ways) courage. These are all traits people are safer having in abundance. Plus they’re fun.
I’d love to hear from you, too. In the comments, or find me on Facebook. What are the key epiphanies you’ve had over the years?
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