One of the most valuable lessons of martial arts is how to persevere when you make mistakes. Many feel like giving up. It is so easy for people to give up when they feel exhausted, and to refuse to push through.
This is especially important in self-defense training. When someone is attacked, it is a terrifying experience. In a self-defense situation, it is highly unlikely you will be attacked by someone smaller and weaker than you. At minimum, they are likely to be bigger and stronger. Worse, they may have a weapon, or it may be multiple attackers. It might not just be yourself you are protecting but a loved one as well.
Resilience
It is so easy to go into the freeze mode and make mistakes. It takes courage and will to continue on, through the fear. This is why teachers must push students in class to overcome obstacles and show strength in hard times, so they can practice the skill of resilience in a safe environment.
In army training, resiliency was one of the most important skills to have. We were constantly pushed to our limits and beyond. Just to earn our beret, we had to do a march of 65 kilometers in full gear, even carrying others on stretchers. It was thirteen hours of pure exertion. Exhaustion became my normal.
There is an expression in Hebrew, “there is no choice.” When we would be in active service, lives would depend on us. It didn’t matter how terrifying or impossible whatever we faced would be, we had to keep going. Unlike the normal human response of running away from danger, we would have to run towards it and face it.
Different Limits
After I returned from field service, and became the senior combat instructor, it was my turn to push soldiers to surpass their limits.
I remember catching soldiers breaking the rules and falling asleep on guard duty. Even though I acted stern, I had an enormous amount of sympathy for them. I was a soldier myself. I knew the mind-numbing boredom of being on watch. I knew how little sleep and how much responsibility we all had. However, falling asleep on guard duty was an unacceptable breach of situational awareness and security. Our lives depended on knowing the entrances were sealed.
Waking them taught me a lot about human nature. After the shock on their faces wore off, I saw the true character of the soldiers. Some made excuses and tried to lie to get out of trouble, to avoid punishment. Others kept their honor and integrity, accepting the responsibility for their actions.
I had a lot of respect for those soldiers who made no excuses for their mistakes. They were truly the ones who would rise above and succeed. They had every reason to be angry. They had not done anything malicious. They were in an impossible situation. Thy were exhausted and bored and under stress, fighting their human need to rest. I knew how hard it was. They desperately wanted to go home, enjoy a warm bed, good food and family time. They were kids barely a year ago, and now asked to carry the security of a country on their young soldiers. Yet, even when facing punishment, they acted with honor.
Why didn’t I show them a shred of sympathy? I could have just scolded them, instead of reporting them and getting them punished in addition to all that they faced?
The answer is simple. I reported them because it was right thing to. No matter how good the excuses were, falling asleep on duty meant that everyone in the base was at risk, especially them. A sleeping guard would be an irresistible target for a terrorist, who would kill the guard and then make their way inside the camp to wreck more murder. A base infiltration in 1987 resulted in 6 soldiers dying and 8 more being injured.
We are always on a high state of alert. The entire camp sleeps and eat, only because of the sentries who guard our backs.
Learned Resolve
I couldn’t let it go, even if I felt bad for them because lives mattered more than their comfort. They screwed up, they accepted it and they dealt with it. It may have felt impossible, but if losing weekend leave helped them learn that resolve, it was well worth the price to gain the strength to persevere.
I have become a civilian instructor and therefore, I have adapted to my students. However, I’m grateful I still kept the undercurrent of IDF toughness under the surface. I don’t sugarcoat mistakes and I don’t let students make excuses for themselves. I don’t expect them to be perfect, but I expect them to own their actions and seek to improve. I also expect them to hold themselves accountable for their own mistakes.
While we must be flexible to reality, we must never let our compassion for our students destroy realistic standards that we set for them. We know what they are capable of, and we should demand that from them. Progress is hard to gain and easily lost, and personal accountability is the only way forward.
Teaching how to punch and kick is only the beginning of the true study of Krav Maga. I will count my lessons a success when students can handle themselves with honor and resilience under adversity. My goal is to have them prepared to face the consequences of their actions and to learn from their mistakes for the future, to be willing to work hard despite impossible odds and to never give up.
Note: This article is about resilience. I can’t think of someone who fits that better than my co-writer.
Surprise, Elke. It’s late, but yes, I wanted to honor that January is your month. Happy birthday and congratulations on five years of becoming my student. From the day that I met you till today, you made exponential progress in training. You went from being too shy to look me in the face to teaching me. You overcome so much to get where you are, and you never stopped pushing through. We got to celebrate in person shooting together, something that showed how far you’ve come.
Not only are you strong in the face of adversity, but you’re an amazing person. I am proud of how accomplished you are. You are a lawyer with a masters in Urban Planning. You are a popular blogger, martial arts journalist and now you are working on your first book. You do charity work on Israel, mental health and traffic safety. You’re accomplishing great things in your fellowship. You read more than anyone else I know. You make me laugh and you have the most incredible ideas.
You talk about how lucky you were to become my student. Well, I was lucky to become your teacher and friend. You are brilliant and talented, but you are also kind and funny. You are a true friend who always has my back through my best and worst. No matter how tense things get, I can count on you to see the big picture and the best in others.
I can rely on you to get things done and when I need help, I never need to ask twice. Many times, I don’t even need to ask once, because you already predicted the issue and came to me with the solution. I have benefited so much from your help on writing, legal questions, research, planning, and ideas. Because of you, I’m a martial arts journalist and I’ve grown professionally and personally.
Seriously, you have given me so much and I’m grateful. So this year, I’m going to try and match your energy by pushing you harder than you ever thought possible. This year, you’re going to move mountains. My goal is for that to be literally.
Happy birthday! Happy Anniversary of becoming my student! Keep on succeeding!
- Tehran fails to impress on Krav Maga - September 18, 2023
- The Pursuit of Perfection - August 7, 2023
- Grace Under Pressure - March 17, 2023
Leave a Reply