I have been training Brazilian Jiu Jitsu since 2011. In 10 years, I have earned a purple belt and two stripes.
I often beat myself up for this. I tell myself I should be further along and compare myself to the training partners who received their blue belts at the same time I did and are now black belts, world champions, or academy owners. It becomes easy to compare my journey to theirs.
Each Journey is Unique
What I have to remember is that we all have our own unique journeys and, furthermore, we all have multiple journeys. In short, we all have lives. Few of us train for a living and few of us compete at the elite level. As most of us are progressing through our BJJ career, we are also progressing in other areas. Some of us are completing PhDs, some of us are starting families, and some of us are building professional careers. We all have different priorities.
My BJJ journey has had many breaks and hiatuses. As someone who lives with two mental illnesses, a priority that overshadowed my commitment to BJJ was recovery. I have taken time off the mats for hospitalizations and for recovery. What I should remember is that my purple belt is not a sign that I should be further along, it is a sign that I should be proud of how far I have come. Mental illness, self-harm, suicide attempts, inpatient treatment programs – that purple belt is a substantial accomplishment. Despite everything I have had to overcome, despite the time off and the breaks, I have continued to show up, to learn and to better myself. When that purple belt was wrapped around my waist for the first time, I cried like a baby. I knew I had reached a milestone.
I have learned that there is nothing to gain in comparing ourselves to others. The only comparison worth our time is comparing ourselves to who we were yesterday. Trite, but true.
I have also taken time off for injuries. I spent frustrating weeks healing up from training mishaps and tournament foolhardiness, itching to get back on the mats. At times, I have taken time off when the mats no longer felt like home, when I needed time to miss them a little.
How to Maintain Momentum
Taking time off or having to take time off can be infuriating. It can feel like we are falling behind. It can feel like we are wasting time. Whatever we are doing during this time off, whether it be healing, resting, or working towards other goals, it all serves a purpose. It is easy, however, to feel like we are losing motivation.
So how do maintain our momentum and keep the passion alive? Here are a few tips:
- If you are breaking for an injury, do your rehab:
If your break from BJJ is for physical recovery, follow your doctor’s/surgeon’s/physiotherapist’s instructions and take care of yourself. Allow yourself this time to recover properly and to avoid future issues. A break to heal is not a setback, but returning to the mats too soon and re-injuring yourself or causing permanent damage is truly time wasted.
- Stay focused on all aspects of your heath:
A hiatus may mean that for whatever reason you are now less active, but that is no reason to forget the basics of health and self-care. Returning to training after a break can be difficult as we may lose some muscle memory or feel less comfortable with technique we used to do in our sleep. The return will be all the more frustrating if you also have to work on regaining your usual level of health and fitness. Stay active, to whatever degree you are able to. Remember to eat well, to drink your water and to sleep enough.
- If you are breaking for a specific goal, focus on why reaching this goal is a priority:
If your hiatus is happening because you are pursuing another goal – education, career, a pregnancy, travel, etc. – remind yourself why this goal is a priority. Reflect on your decision to undertake this, journal about what this goal and the journey to reaching it will bring to your life and find gratitude for the opportunity you have to do this.
- Stay connected to your community:
Stay in touch with your teammates and your coaches. Visit your academy when you can and show up to training just to watch if you are out because of an injury. Trust your close teammates to be there to support you and reach out to them when needed. If you are out because of a different priority, express this to your team and share your goal with them. They will better understand your absence and can help cheer you on.
The Bottom Line
Taking a break from training can be heartbreaking or frustrating but it is sometimes unavoidable. Do not compare your journey to anyone else’s and remember that everyone has different priorities. Remember also that cutting a break short when healing an injury will mostly likely result in even more time off the mats. Take your health seriously.
We all progress at different paces and we all have different goals and priorities. BJJ is a puzzle piece that looks different from person to person. Focus on you, focus on what your needs are and honour them. BJJ will always be there and the mats will always welcome you back.
Check out more articles here on Martial Journal, and stay positive.
She began volunteering in the mental health field in 2013, hoping to help provide a service she wished she knew existed when she was in her darkest place. Dedicating herself to Distress Centre Durham, she started as a crisis helpline responder and became a mentor, trainer and supervisor. In 2017, DCD awarded her their Volunteer of the Year Award and in 2018, she won Distress and Crisis Ontario’s Spirit of Volunteerism Award.
Her involvement with DCD led her to seek out further education and training in mental health. She holds a diploma in Social Service Work from Humber College and has attended Ryerson University and University of Toronto as a psychology student. She has also completed countless certificates, such as the Applied Suicide Interventions Skills Training.
Valéry now delivers talks and workshops, raising awareness and equipping people with the tools and language to support others and manage their own mental health. In 2019, she delivered a TEDx talk on the stigma surrounding suicide. She has also written for organizations such as the National Alliance for Mental Illness and the International Bipolar Foundation.
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I appreciate this story and I can relate as I also practice BJJ. It took me almost 3 years to earn a blue belt. I haven’t trained since March 2020 due to Covid. Just as the US is starting to see some hope, I had rotator cuff and bicep surgery last week. There’s no way I’m doing BJJ for another 6 months. Still, I can either decide to quit, or to continue training when I can. I’d rather look back in 2031 and see 9 years of training than 0. Good luck with your journey.
Thank you for your comment! That’s exactly it. We can choose to give up or keep going at the pace and in the capacity we can. Good luck as well! Stick with it!