Thousands of parents enroll their children into martial arts programs across the country every year. Maybe it’s your unruly 4-year-old who needs to learn self-discipline before kindergarten, a high schooler who should learn self-defense before going off to college, or any age in between. No matter why, you are helping them to take the first step down a challenging and rewarding journey. Whether black belt is in their future or not, your child will be a better, stronger person because of martial arts.
Tip #1: Know your goals and find a program designed to achieve them
The breadth and scope of the martial arts world is vast. There are hundreds of traditional martial art varieties, each with their own doctrine and style. Perhaps you are looking for a focus on physical fitness, personal growth, self -defense, opportunities for competition, or a combination thereof.
Take the time to explore the martial arts styles available in your area, consider what your intended outcome is for your family (include your child in this process) and then hit the streets and spend some time in each school. A school visit is typically welcome at your local Dojo/Dojang and it allows you to experience the school’s culture, class management, class size, school cleanliness, and to learn of the age and training of the staff.
Once you have narrowed down your search, schedule an opportunity for you and your child to meet with an enrollment staff member. Small group intro lessons are common in the martial arts. These allow students to build rapport with a teacher, get a feel for the physical layout of the school, and learn some of the class protocols. This can go a long way toward a successful start, especially for our youngest martial artists!
Make a list of questions you have for the lead teacher or school owner and know that there isn’t one right answer to most questions. You are seeking the right program for your needs. It is in no way a slight to a martial arts academy that your goals don’t align with their program!
Tip #2: Be your child’s biggest fan
When your child begins to train, be their biggest fan. Sure, your 17-year-old could drive herself to class and be fine, maybe you could even drop off your tiny tiger and go run errands, but then you miss the chance to share in their success and give value to their training.
Accept the challenge to put down the cell phone or book and to really tune in to your child’s classes. You may have a superstar on your hands or you may find that your child is the one struggling to behave or perform. Either way, your job is to find the moment when your child shines, even if it is just one maneuver in a 30-minute class. After the class bows out, when your child comes running up to you, highlight that moment with excitement! Your child will know you were watching, they will see you are genuinely proud, and they will be thirsty for more!
Good martial arts instructors also are masters of seeing the good happening in their classes and using praise to promote that behavior. You may find yourself impressed with the teacher’s ability to control their class through routine, structure, and praise. Those same elements can be reinforced at home to improve your “at home” routine and increase your child’s success in class.
Tip #3: Set goals to keep the excitement alive
As with all sports and activities, there is a shine that comes with newness. Your child may beam the first time they complete a set of 20 push-ups, but after 3 months of conditioning, they may begin to dread “having to work so hard at karate.”
Most martial arts have a belt promotion structure that allows beginners to earn a new belt every 2-6 months. These belt tests are great opportunities for parents, teachers, and students to excitedly set goals for their continued growth in the martial arts. Be aware of what ranks are down the line and what new and exciting curriculum comes with each rank. Perhaps your child will earn his/her way into a special program after attaining their orange belt, or maybe they will soon be training with bo staffs. As your learner progresses through the program, help them see the amazing things they will get to do and master on their journey.
If motivation becomes a challenge, reach out to the student’s teacher for suggestions and support. Many schools have enrichment events, social gatherings, and celebrations throughout the year. Getting your child fully involved in the school culture is a great way to keep the passion alive.
Tip #4: Practice at home… but just the fun stuff
Unless you are secretly a master martial artist yourself, it is unlikely that you can help your child with their curriculum. That is perfectly fine. In fact, it’s for the best. Your son or daughter doesn’t need another teacher at home. They need a training partner.
Find out what their favorite part of training is and let them lead you through it. They will learn at a high level by teaching you and they will really get a kick by being your teacher. you will see your child improve their skills and their enjoyment of the art when you train together.
Keep it to the fun stuff, hitting practice pads and simple self-defense maneuvers. Even dial up your fitness and challenge them to conditioning drill contests. Save the traditional forms for the Dojang and reinforce the fun from home!
Tip #5: Suit-Up
There is no better validation of your child’s training than you taking the leap with them. Martial arts is one of many all-age fitness programs but it’s unlike being on an adult softball team or bringing your child to the pick-up basketball game at the YMCA. As parents, you can actually share the black belt journey with your child. You can experience the exact same elation of breaking boards, the pride of earning belts, and more importantly, the struggle of performing calisthenics and memorizing forms. There are very few places in life where parents and children can truly even the playing field and walk one of life’s paths side by side.
Most martial arts schools offer adult programming and many even offer parent and child classes. Participating in social events and belt tests along with your child will be an experience that both of you will cherish. It is a powerful experience to walk off the mats at the end of class, sweaty and tired, and look into the eyes of your child who looks and feels the same way. There is a solidarity therein that cannot be matched, and an understanding that in sharing the black belt journey your child gets to be your corner man too!
What’s been your experience? Do you also have a child in the martial arts or is one of your parents involved in your training? Leave a comment below – I’d love to hear from you!
If you would like to know more about my story or the book series my wife and I created, the Karate Kids collection, you can check out an interview I did recently on whistlekick Martial Arts Radio.
- How To Be Your Child’s Cornerman: 5 Tips for Parents - October 15, 2018
Tip #5 Suit up. Hands down the best thing I have EVER done as a parent. Great article.