January 2nd, 2022, I mark four years of Krav Maga. Even though I’m currently training Ju-Jitsu, because I can’t do striking with an injured shoulder, I will always be a Krav Maga person at my heart because it was the gateway to this incredible world of martial arts.
I think back to that person who boarded the elevator on that cold snowy day. I had been crying from a fight I had with my then-partner and listening to “Sis Puella Magica” by Yuki Kajiura. I wished I could be like the magical girls who fought the forces of evil and made a difference. I was out of shape, depressed, hopeless, and completely stuck in my life. I had assumed I would take a class, fail miserably and then return home to laugh at the very idea I ever belonged on the mat.
Yet, here I am, four years in and hoping to someday become an assistant teacher so I can work in my community to share the skills.
I got asked a question by a friend. What advice would I have given myself then, knowing what I know now? I have so many thoughts, but the main one is simple.
Embrace the Journey
Of course, that didn’t seem to answer the question, so to better explain it to the friend, I wrote my past self a letter.
Dear Elke,
You are about to go on an adventure that will change your life. I know it doesn’t feel this way, but you will look back on this day as being magical.
So, a little advice from your future self. Everyone can tell you things about stretching and hydrating before class, but I will clue you in on the big picture.
You are about to be incredibly confused. So many new concepts will be thrown at you and you will feel like you are sinking, rather than swimming.
Pretend you are going to a new country, which speaks a different dialect of the language you speak. You may know some words, but other words will be complete mysteries. In fact, some words you do recognize will have completely different meanings. It may feel overwhelming and you may feel stupid for not knowing. Relax and enjoy the learning process.
For the few months, you will not understand what the different combinations are, or how to perform the drills that are being asked of you. You are used to being an excellent student academically, so you will feel like a failure.
It will take you a long time to realize you are not expected to know everything right, or else you wouldn’t need the class in the first place. Your goal isn’t to know, your goal is to learn. That is achieved by working hard, asking questions, and building up a knowledge set, a bit at a time.
Stop worrying about weapons defense classes and focus more on basic foundation skills like strikes, footwork, breathing, sparring. The fun part is the weapons drills, but it’s the foundation that will be your greatest asset. Even the more high-level techniques such as gun defense are built on a solid foundation of striking.
Take a breath for yourself before class. It takes time to build skills, so you don’t need to feel frustrated. Autism, PTSD, Sensory Processing Disorder, Anxiety, Depression, and ADHD all together is a hard burden to bear, and it will slow your progress.
Instead of hating yourself for needing more time, you will be grateful that your disabilities force you to work harder because Krav Maga is something where you get what you put into it. You will have to take more classes, practice more times, and even come to classes just to take notes, just to keep up with people. That extra time paid off in a deeper understanding of the movements. You will also have to learn differently. Teaching yourself elbows as “cross your heart and hope he dies” may seem a bit cheesy, but it will help you learn the proper form, and one day you will share it with new students, who benefit as well.
Most importantly, it‘s okay to be scared and to go at your own pace, as long as you always make sure that pace is a tiny step outside your comfort zone. Martial arts has many gifts to those who practice and one is that people are amazed at how brave they truly can be. Even though you will be uncomfortable a lot of the time, feeling under pressure, and feeling overwhelmed, you will find the courage to keep going. As long as you never risk your physical safety, keep pushing through the hard times. Change and growth require the sacrifice of the status quo.
Most importantly, realize that the learning curve never actually ends. On your first day, you will look admiringly at the higher-ranked students and think they knew everything. You believe that once you are on the higher end of the line, you’ll feel confident.
Four years later, you will be a senior student and you will still feel just as clueless. Even though things that used to be difficult are much easier for me, new challenges have taken their place. One day, you will no longer struggle with knowing the difference between a jab and a cross punch, but you will still struggle with the escape from mounts. You will never feel like you made it, and that’s awesome. Keep that hunger to keep expanding your educational horizons in martial arts. It’s your greatest gift.
You are about to be sore beyond your wildest imagination. You will be pushed past your limits and be forced to confront your own disabilities in new ways. You will have to face past trauma being recreated on the mat. You will have days of frustration, disappointment, fear, and exhaustion.
And you will look back and say, you would do it all again. You’ll meet friends and mentors who will raise you up to be better, and you’ll discover so much good inside yourself. You will have joys and triumphs that will bleed out into every aspect of your life, helping you improve personally and professionally. You will have happy memories of teamwork, friendship, and personal growth.
I know you’re terrified. All I can tell you is to embrace the journey, keep going, and the rewards will be there,
Love,
Future You
Honestly, even if time travel was possible, I don’t think this advice would have helped me on that first day. I needed to live the journey and endure the struggles to gain this wisdom in sweat and blood and tears.
Now, I truly treasure it.
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EDITOR’S NOTE: If you enjoyed this article, don’t miss out on reading Raz Chen’s Krav Maga Journey as well!
Off the mat, Elke is a real estate attorney and blogger, with degrees in urban planning, law, and history. She has worked in both the non-profit and profit sectors, has been awarded numerous fellowships, including serving as the Biodiversity Fellow at the Israeli Ministry of Environmental Protection. She’s proud to serve on the Board of Debate for Peace, which she insists counts as verbal sparring practice.
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